[news.admin.net-abuse.misc] Re: MurderNet Inc (fwd)

I just ran across this on alt.humor.best-of-usenet. I don't know about the chorus, but the verses scan to St. James Infirmary Blues

• Larry
  • Forwarded message -------- Subject: Re: MurderNet Inc From: wmorgan at databeam.com (Wes Morgan) Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.misc

>> On Mon, 06 Jan 1997 18:48:17 -0800, yesika <yesika at themall.net> wrote:
>>
>> >i got your names down
>> >Majordomo will gun you down

Let's see, that looks like an intro to me...I think I'll try my hand at rap this time...

Spammer's Rap

Chorus: Yo! I got your names down

	The 'Domo's gonna gun you down
	Emails on the hour 
	Gonna fill up your disk tower
	'Till you open your box
	And my ads blow off your socks...

SFX: <thumpa><thumpa><fzzzzz><thumpa><thumpa><fzzzzz>

Verse:	Went down to the Usenet
	And I went through all the groups
	Then I piled up the addresses
	Just to put 'em in the loop;
	I stuck 'em in my mailer
	And I sent it on its way
	Now MurderNet is gonna fill
	Your emailbox today...

[Repeat Chorus]

SFX: <thumpa><thumpa><fzzzzz><thumpa><thumpa><fzzzzz>

Verse:	I got the products ev'rybody
	Wants to hear about,
	Chemicals and herbs that keep
	Your hair from falling out;
	Load of Russian fiances, 
	And nudies by the score,
	How to cheat at college,
	Calling cards and SO MUCH MORE!

[Repeat Chorus]

SFX: <thumpa><thumpa><fzzzzz><thumpa><thumpa><fzzzzz>

Verse:	Now ev'rybody's dissing me
	They just ain't got no sense
	I got a *right* to send my garbage
	I don't need to make amends;
	The people who complain, 
	They just don't know what it's about;
	Gonna put 'em in my mailings
	So now ev'rybody shout:

[Repeat Chorus/SFX and fade ]
Voiceover: Response rate of .002 - that rules!

	   Another hundred thousand going down the pipe right now...
	     but what do I do with all this minoxidil?
	   Man, this is wack...maybe I need to send out more ads...

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