Song: The Annoying Little Toy

        For those of you non-geographically challenged folks who didn't make it to Steve Dixon's today, YOU LOSERS! :) Anyway, I debuted a couple of new songs, and now that I've performed them, as my usual practice, I'm posting them. Actually, this one had the first two verses written a week ago, but the rest of it was written between 12:30 and 2:00 pm today at the filk.

        Anyway, here's song #1. Song #2 to follow.

The Annoying Little Toy
lyrics by Jeffrey Hitchin
(orig. "The Marvelous Little Toy" by Tom Paxton)

I gave a small toy to my child
she wanted desperately.
When she went off to school
she said, "Take care of him for me."
A simple liquid crystal screen
about two inches square.
How was I to know I'd have to
take it everywhere.

CHORUS:
'Cause it goes beep for attention
beep for food,
and beep when it says, "HI!"
I don't care what my daugher says
I just may let it die.

I jumped out of the shower
when it wanted to be fed.
My foot slipped on the bathroom tile,
I fell and hit my head.
I crawled around in blinding pain
as it started in to chime.
I'm wondering if Nano-Baby-cide
could be a crime.

CHORUS I finally got off to work
for the first time I was late.
The dumb thing beeped as I pulled out
onto the interstate.
It kept on beeping as my morning
rapidly turned sour.
But I'm not going to play with toys
at sixty miles an hour.

CHORUS When I got to work I put
the damned thing in a drawer.
Hoping that I wouldn't hear
it beeping anymore.
Maybe I could ditch it after
all that I've been through.
But every other parent in the
workplace had one too.

CHORUS The weeks have gone by quickly now,
the darned thing finally died.
It really hit my daughter hard,
for several days she cried.
Until a few montsh later
at her birthday party where
she six more as gifts,
now I'm her virtual day care.

CHORUS santa at serv.net
http://www.wolfenet.com/~santa Received on 09/21/97