Fithp Invasion Song

Carol Phillips, Judy Craft and some associates will be dressing as Fi, the alien invaders from Niven & Pournelle's Footfall at several upcoming conventions.

Fithp Invasion Song
by Carol Phillips and Judy Craft
may be sung to the tune of "Banned from Argo" (sorry Leslie!)

We came into Terran space to land and colonize. We told the humans to submit so no one had to die. We had high expectations of their defeatability, But they would not surrender to invaders such as we.

     Oh, We're banned from Terra evermore,
     Banned from Terra just for starting a little war
     We came to near-Earth space to land and then to colonize
     But Terra doesn't want us, wonder why?

Our invasion plans were simple we decided to bombard, With all those asteroids around, it wasn't very hard To knock out bridges, airports, roads, and certain factories It wouldn't take us very long to bring them to their knees

We sent jump troops to Kansas, We won the Jayhawk war This was just the first step but it opened up the door. We captured members of their herd to study and scrutinize. We knew we had to learn their tricks, for our plans to thrive.

We had no real conception of their ingenuity, They seemed to have no honor, they were filled with treachery. They learned to split the atom, a miracle it seems. For rogues to work together, is way beyond our dreams.

Who could fight a herd of rogues? Who would even try? How did they work together? How did they learn to fly? They hid their bombs in hospitals; in many ways they lied. And launched Archangel Michael, defeat was in their sky

We finally knew that we had lost, we gave in to our fate. We tried to win, to not give in, to change our loosing state. We promised to their leaders an interstellar drive, If they would please just let us go, and leave this place alive

     Oh, We're banned from Terra evermore,
     Banned from Terra just for starting a little war
     'Cause the humans, they defeated us in just three months or four,
     There's no room for us on Terra anymore.

Blanket permission to reproduce with attribution. Received on 04/05/98