Operation Desert Starr

I was asked to post this one, written in June 1998. Enjoy it or don't.

OPERATION DESERT STARR
ttto: Operation Desert Storm (Tom Smith)

My stomach is churning but you won't see fear in my eyes The blood's gonna drain from his face when he sees my surprise I must put a stop to the liberal conspiracy The Washington Monument's giving the finger to me But I'll paint it over with feathers and tar With one goal in life or my name ain't Ken Starr I'LL GET THE PRESIDENT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!! My private eyes, lawyers and clerks make a frightening horde I have them send out a subpoena that's promptly ignored My spies hide in dumpsters and bushes awaiting their chance While forensics experts go over the stains on his pants The forces of darkness won't stop me, just wait Don't tell me my judgment is clouded by hate I'LL GET THE PRESIDENT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! I thought the Lewinsky girl would be his final disgrace But she changed her story and now I have egg on my face When Newt shot his mouth off, I wanted to jump in the sea And Chairman Dan Burton was just a tad sicker than me But I'll show them all that this old dog still hunts Remember that I have to win only once!
And I'LL GET THE PRESIDENT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

His Irish peace treaty blew my story out of the sky My witness MacDougall was great until I let him die (Remember, don't let the witness die!)
His approval rating rose sharply and burst my balloon They're even comparing me with a RoadRunner cartoon! But God's on my side; I'll outwit that old fox I've issued subpoenas to Buddy and Socks And I'll get the President, maybe I'll try something new...

Eureka! That's it! Ouija boards....

Best,
Andrew Ross Received on 09/29/98