Santa is a woman? (fwd)

hi

i thought this was hysterical

anne

• Forwarded message ---------- Date: Tue, 07 Dec 1999 09:22:40 -0800 From: Charmel Bowden <aboutface at uswest.net> Subject: Santa is a woman?

Did you know that Santa Claus is REALLY a woman? Check it out:

1. Men never answer their mail and never write;
2. Men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve;
3. Being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment;
4. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet;
5. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen with all those elves;
6. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly;"
7. Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody else is wearing them;
8. Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women;
9. Men can't pack a bag;
10. A male Santa would get lost in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions; and
11. There would be no reindeer because they would all be dead - gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh!